Ugly

THE GENDER TRUST BLOG: Ugly

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Sex not specified… Norrie May Welby, who was featured in the Sun this weekas the worlds first person to be recognised as neither male nor female. The Australian court which made the ruling has since declared Norrie is female. Twats.

I’m giving us, the Gender Trust, in conjunction with the Sun, our NICE Award this week. That’s right, us and the Sun. So that’s that.

Our STOP Award also goes to the the Sun. No surprises there then, expect that the subject is a trans man for a change. But enough of the news.

Now, my perception of ugliness has changed over the past few years. I used to think I was ugly, and looking transgender was one of the most disgusting things possible. But nowadays its people’s idea’s that repulse me.

Case in point: whilst looking through the profile pics of a friend-of-a-facebook-friend I saw his face superimposed next to a girl, who looked like a glamour model, (doesn’t everyone?) Commented underneath:

A: This your ideal woman then? She used to go to my school and back then his name was ‘John Smith’ I shit you not!!!

B: Yeah I know bruv me and my mate joke about it all the time hence the result you see now

A: You would though wouldn’t you you dirty dog! afta a few jars 🙂

These guys probably meant no harm, but their little banter illustrates almost every (non-violent) aspect of transphobia…

Firstly there’s the ‘used to be ‘John Smith’, or ‘it’s-REALLY-a-man-ALWAYS-a-man line. Normal people are born babies but transsexual women, apparently, are born men. You never hear ‘Marilyn Monroe, real name Norma Jean’, or ‘David Bowie –really called David Robert Hayward-Jones’, but then no one’s trying to force them into an unwanted gender.

Transphobia stage two: trans people being a big humiliating joke: “me and my mate joke about it all the time”.

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Me. If you slept with me you’d have to feel very embarrassed.

Laughing about someone born with a very distressing condition you wouldn’t wish on your own children is completely hilarious – clearly. Don’t try and understand us – just constantly ridicule us. As transsexuals are such lepers associating with one is rather humiliating – presumably why this photo such a hoot. It’s like a photo of you on the bog – you’d never really want people to see! Ha!!

Stage three: ‘oh but you would, wouldn’t you, if you were pissed/desperate/no-one was looking’. Incredibly I mainly hear this one from guys who wouldn’t have the slightest chance of bedding the girl they’re dissing. It’s why the internet and adult shops are awash with porn featuring trans women, and yet apparently no-one ever admits to watching it unless, of course, to take the piss. It’s why the sex industry remains pretty much the only area transsexual women truly excel in – whilst remaining curiously invisible/powerless within the everyday fabric of society. Jack off? Fuck off.

So I Googled Glamour Girl (GGG) and it turns out her ‘really’ being a ‘bloke’ was a big scandal in the News of The World and some other rags – including Robert Kitson’s article in the (apparently) liberal Guardian:

“In terms of embarrassing yourself, being ejected from the England team for staying out late in a Test match week is barely in the same league [as sleeping with a transsexual].”

Yet again I ask you to replace the word ‘transsexual’ with ‘black woman’. Not good is it?

More GGG helps me discover that Glamour Girl denies claims of transsexualism as malicious rumours.

Calling glamour models slags is old-fashioned. Now you have to call them ‘a transsexual’ if you really want to hurt ‘em! Of course, one can’t be both….

As evidenced during a trip to Nottingham. My friend’s housemate, with whom I was staying, was always very kind and polite to me – a very nice guy. One night though, we got chatting about when we’d first met, and he’d tried to chat me up at a party. I’d been too sloshed to remember anything, but he recalled “coming up to you and thinking ‘she’s well fit’ so I flirted with you… until someone told me and I realised’. So sweet! OK, so that’s what he thought – but why tell me?

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Beautiful and transgender are not two separate categories as American Drag Queen Ru Paul demonstrates. A transphobic idiot once tol me I look like Ru Paul. Seriously; this is what we’re up against…

Anyway back to Glamour Girl. Trans or not she’s an attractive woman. If I’d seen her photo’s a few years back I’d have believed looking like her would make everything fine – if you look like a woman people will perceive you as one.

Wrong. Look hard enough at Glamour Girl, (and many women in fact), and you’ll find elements of masculinity. Even if there weren’t it makes no odds; and nor does matter if you’ve had the op. No mater how girly you sound, how pretty your face or how big your boobs: some people will never respect your true gender.

Rather than wasting your whole life trying to get approval form people who only ever disrespect you by seeing you as ‘John smith, that bloke who had his sex changed’, why not devote yourself to more worthwhile activities. A friend sent me a clip of Sass (so an so) last week and I was left speechless by her inspirational speech.

The nasty jokes they make about you – that’s the true face of ugliness. So look like a man. Or a woman. Or a man-woman. Or neither. Be neither. But always remember to lead your life as a good person. It’s who, and not what, we are that counts.

And don’t you ever forget that my beautiful brothers and sisters.

Paris Lees

(The views expressed within this blog are those of the author, and may not reflect those of the Gender Trust)

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